Fractal Eagles
20-something, polyamorous, ENTJ, east coast, bored

my entire philosophy on life can be boiled down to the phrase "I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it"

don't ask about my genitals unless you intend to play with them

however you can feel free to ask about my skype
Ask
Submit
About
Drunkblog
Archive
RSS feed
Theme by Stijn
March 9th
15:20
332,901 notes
Source
Via
miami-tea: The Defibrillator Toaster My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!” “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” He’s bread, Jim. Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!  JESUS CRUST. JAM IT! “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.” I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS HES BREAD JIM

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

  1. alwayspurpleforyou reblogged this from riderunlive
  2. riderunlive reblogged this from meinink
  3. meinink reblogged this from isilienelenihin
  4. siobhanorsomething reblogged this from landoftheodd
  5. sleeplessnights-anddaydreams reblogged this from into-icy-blues
  6. vampireandhispintsized-romeo reblogged this from into-icy-blues
  7. into-icy-blues reblogged this from ladyhoransykes
  8. dinosaursaretheshit reblogged this from craving-blackbeansauce
  9. thierrax reblogged this from craving-blackbeansauce
  10. slayer-67 reblogged this from gearsinthephoenix
  11. sinful-saint reblogged this from gearsinthephoenix
  12. amiortheotherscrazy reblogged this from gearsinthephoenix
  13. comrszachwahls reblogged this from sabutterfly44
  14. sabutterfly44 reblogged this from gearsinthephoenix
  15. gearsinthephoenix reblogged this from wouldirunoff
  16. btrmylove-cuttingmylife reblogged this from landoftheodd
  17. cannibalisticwaternymphs reblogged this from landoftheodd
  18. landoftheodd reblogged this from forward-untodawn
  19. craving-blackbeansauce reblogged this from refusingto-witherorfade
  20. refusingto-witherorfade reblogged this from forward-untodawn
  21. forward-untodawn reblogged this from katssanity
  22. tumblinos reblogged this from sherlockisthenewsexy
  23. asymmetriclloyd reblogged this from wouldirunoff
  24. wouldirunoff reblogged this from aspiringhermit
  25. avulcanwolf reblogged this from aspiringhermit
  26. aspiringhermit reblogged this from louveisinhernest
  27. kittykatwithapikachusneeze reblogged this from melaes and added:
    this is a cool toaster
  28. phat2cat reblogged this from orangejugo
  29. orangejugo reblogged this from life-full-of-mysteries
  30. f-arrlahh reblogged this from surfensomeswag
  31. wisteria-wolf reblogged this from purplepandaandco
  32. itallstartswithalullaby reblogged this from lotsofhiddlesfeels
  33. t0day-was-yesterdays-t0morrow reblogged this from mylifesuckss69 and added:
    I’m only reblogging this because of these HILARIOUS puns!
  34. little-puzzle-piece reblogged this from sexuallyarousedcactus
  35. purplepandaandco reblogged this from acidtripnepeta
  36. 1d-koalaty reblogged this from littleredxo